As January 6th arrives this year, I feel the cumulative weight of a somber reflectiveness that has grown within me. Sadly, I am thankful to admit I see something akin to that among a few friends, which is an odd sort of comfort when I know we stand together but relatively alone in our views.
I think we can all agree that the events of January 6, 2021 were startling to witness. Never before have we seen or experienced such an event. It occurred to me sometime before Christmas as I prepared the cedar boughs along mantels and shelves, that the fresh greenery will have to stay up until January 6. And it was then that I realized that 2021’s Coup attempt happened on the Day of Epiphany. Strange how it didn’t phase me then that something so horrific was happening on a day so sacred.
For those not familiar with this Christian tradition, January 6th is a special holiday known as Epiphany which is the day many denominations commemorate when young Jesus the Messiah first met Gentiles (those not of Jewish lineage) with the visit of the Magi, also known as the Kings or Wise Men from the East. (Matthew 2:1-12)
The actual word application for epiphany is:
“That moment in the story when a character achieves realization, awareness, or a feeling of knowledge, after which events are seen through the prism of this new light in the story” (literarydevices.net)
In simpler more rudimentary terms, I’ve always thought of an epiphany as an “Ahhh, now I get it” moment. I can picture the Kings from the East making their long arduous journey, bringing gifts of great value to this mystery boy. They expected a child of wealth but what they found was the simple home of a carpenter, his young wife and a small child with dirt on his feet and an illuminous smile on his dark little face. But when they stepped closer and knelt before Him, they knew. This was their “epiphany” and they worshipped Jesus right there in all the plainness and dirt of a simpleton’s life. Still, they knew! And when I think of last year’s Day of Epiphany, in light of the Magi’s epiphany moments, I can clearly see January 6th was an “epiphany” of great magnitude which has the ability to shape and guide us as a nation, and as the church should we be willing to choose the posture of humility as the Magi did.
Last January 6th I was sitting at my makeshift “work from home” desk, with eyes locked on my laptop screen, as I switched nervously back and forth between class meetings and the live news that covered the Capitol. As reporters panned the massive crowd with their camera crews, I couldn’t help but see and hear the evidence of Jesus people there. Personally, once I saw the first “Jesus Saves” and “Trump for President” signs in the crowd, I was captivated. Not that the people or signs were there, but that signs were there being held by crowds of people who were clearly thinking they had the right to storm the Capitol, disarm and/or harm whoever stood in their way, and take over or insurrect our government for the sake of the man they believed was the Cyrus, anointed by God to save America by making us a Christian Nation.
From the moment I saw the images, throughout the 360 mins of chaos and violence and every day since, I’ve tried to understand the activities and political involvement of the white American Christian Church that was so clearly present and participating at the Capitol last year. Many videos captured that day gave clear evidence of Jesus people who marched their way onto the Capitol grounds, preaching, singing and praying to God while at the same time executing their plan to interrupt the government proceedings so they would stop the certification of electoral votes taking place inside. I was extremely conflicted watching people I might see in church gathered on the steps of the Capitol worshipping and praying to Jesus standing alongside other Jesus people as they threw vulgar, profane slurs (and yes, even some objects meant to maim or harm) at the Capitol police who were there to secure and protect our sacred seat of government.
That day was a transforming day for me, the proverbial “straw that broke the camel’s back” I might say. I would never claim to be wise like the Magi, but as I’ve prayed to understand and to see from God’s perspective (His heavenly vantage point), He’s revealing the breakdown of our national unity, the division between loved ones and confusion among us all, which has been building in subtle and not so subtle ways for years. It was the imagery of that day - the chaos, the brutality, the MAGA Jesus poster and the elderly grandma and grandpa standing abreast with the insurrectionists who held crowbars and bear spray aimed at police officers – those images will haunt me forever because it highlighted the divide that exists between the thing I love - Jesus’ Church.
For much of my life I have been a devoted Jesus follower who chose the Evangelical Church as my church home. I will never forget my experiences and growth that took place among those churches. The people, the passion, the encouragement to study scripture and to experience Jesus and the Holy Spirit in a personal way were teachings I had rarely heard elsewhere. Yet over this past two years, many of the prominent pastors and leaders who influence the Evangelical stream, have taken obvious detours into Christian Nationalism, political partisanship, they’ve refused to acknowledge systemic racism and the need of the church to take a stand (as God clearly did) against it, and they’ve failed to focus on community and racial justice missions. They have not grasped this moment to model or teach the importance of repentance nor have they given their congregations teaching and time to be before God with a heart lamenting the sins of our nation’s collective past in order to seek healing among people groups and most especially within the divided church yet they have publicly ridiculed those who do. Worship leaders cried “persecution” when Covid “stay at home” mandates were put in place to stop transmissions and deaths. Many have cut the fingers, feet and heart from the body of Christ over masks, political differences and vaccinations and it seems “the salt of the earth” may be losing it’s flavor.
So while the world feels raw, and with Jesus’ gentle approval, I’ve made the decision to take a necessary break from the Evangelical church, as it is today. I’m careful and cautious when I read Christian books and I pray for deeper discernment and wisdom every day. I long to make choices that honor the heart of God, so with His help and guidance, I will work to be an agent of reconciliation. I will also do my part to be vulnerable and to grow in the many areas where growth and change is needed.
And while a large percent of the American church is broken, I will seek the Kingdom of Heaven, here on earth and I’ll believe in God’s true Church, which is the body of Christ. I will befriend those who wander without a “church home,” and we will walk in fellowship with God together as the hands, feet and heart of God on this earth, while we still have it. We will never stop believing in God’s desire to heal and we will fill the great divide with love until we are one once again.